Daniel Hutchinson From The Hutch

There's been a lot swirling around in my head lately and I'm sure others will have had the same problem.

There are the two big events going on – pandemic and war – but like all good humans, I tune out a bit when it comes to impending doom. It's a bit like that thing you do when you're a kid – putting your fingers in your ears and saying: 'la, la, la, la” so you can't hear what the other person is saying.

Anyway, there's plenty of new things to worry about like what's going to happen to the ski season if Mt Ruapehu pops its top? The Crater Lake has quickly heated up to a pleasant spa pool temperature and then suddenly stopped, leading scientists to think there is a blockage somewhere.

Blockages in volcanoes are not a good thing.

Reassuringly, the scientists say it is still highly unlikely to pop its top. This is based purely on the fact that it usually doesn't in this situation.

Given that this mountain has erupted most recently in 1895, 1945, 1995, 1996 and 2006, it's not overly reassuring. The eruption in 1945 emptied the lake and dammed the outlet. The dam burst eight years later leading to the Tangiwai train disaster in 1953, in which 151 people died.

Volcanoes and earthquakes are notoriously hard to predict, which is why the warning system for volcanic activity is split into three alert levels; one – might blow up, two – even more likely to blow and three – it has blown up.

I feel like there should be more numbers between two and three.

A mean streak

Other things that have been on my mind lately include the childish dispute between the Hamilton Cossie Club and one of its neighbours - adult film actress Lisa Lewis.

Lisa shot to stardom by running across the field during an All Blacks' game in Hamilton in 2006. Everyone knows Hamilton is too far from the beach to be wearing a bikini, so she was escorted off the field. She later sold the famous togs for $4000.

She also ran for Hamilton Mayor in 2019, but the lucky streak ran out when it came to local body elections.

The recent dispute is somewhat more mundane and involves an argument over access to her rented property, adjacent to the Cossie Club, and allegations of bullying.

It's funny how life's issues become more tedious as we grow up.

Colby Conundrum

Which brings me to inflation.

I had an episode related to inflation recently that I can only describe as a paralysing fugue state in front of the supermarket dairy cabinet.

Normally I can find a kilo of cheese for $10 or less – that's way more expensive than it was a few years ago, but it is the accepted sweet spot at which my desire for cheese meets the willingness to part with money.

However, the cheapest cheese was $12.50, forcing me into a high state of indecision which lasted a full minute and had other shoppers looking at me in concern.

I was dragged away in the end by Mrs Hutch, who suggested that cheese is not that important.

Now we have no cheese.

But it got me thinking about inflation.

Inflation is caused by a buoyant economy, leading to a shortage of labour and materials. Add an endless supply of cheap money from the banks and people can afford to pay extra to secure the scarce resources they want.

Borrowing is the biggest expense for many families, so getting the Reserve Bank to raise wholesale interest rates seems like a weird way to curb price rises, but it has been a raving success since New Zealand introduced the measure in the 1980s.

It has a suppressing effect on the economy. People choose not to spend money because it is simply too expensive to borrow it.

Fortunately, I have some fat in the system for just such an event – literally. I'm 10 per cent overweight, so I figure I can even out inflation by eating 10 per cent less.

I call it the Reserve Tank.

You don't have to give up all the cheese – just some of it.

This won't work for skinny people, but if you've been packing it away for a rainy day, now is the time to use it.

If inflation persists, I might even be able to sell my togs for $4000 one day.

daniel@thesun.co.nz