Daniel Hutchinson From The Hutch

The slow cooker has been simmering for two days – the smell of pork and beef stew wafting through the house.

It didn't start off as a pork and beef stew, mind you. It started as a frozen lump of rolled pork with a jug full of boiling water poured on top.

Inspiration for this culinary extravaganza was brought about by an empty fridge and the fact that tax returns are due this week. I simply don't have time to go shopping and do taxes, and there probably won't be any money left for groceries after the taxes anyway.

By the time I had loaded all the receipts into the spreadsheet I was dangerously bored, so I wandered down the back and picked one of the last of the hot chillies from the garden.

At about midday my face had gone bright red – from the IRD, not the chillies – so I took a break from my apoplectic screaming to caramalise a couple of onions and add a teaspoon of crushed garlic.

With tears in my eyes, I continued doing the taxes, stopping only occasionally to add stock, an assortment of sliced and diced vegetables and finally some xanthum gum for thickening.

By dinnertime we had thick slabs of juicy meat resting on a pile of mashed potatoes and vegetables, smothered in a rich brown gravy.

Death by inflation

I was proud of this accidental feast and explained to Mrs Hutch that it only came about because I was super busy. She was clearly impressed but pointed out that we could have just had the steak.

Sure enough, there was steak hiding in the fridge – right at the top, on the left. It was at that perfect stage for cooking – darkly aged, on the cusp of being ripe, but unlikely to last another day.

And it was also $14.44, including GST. Having just prowled through every receipt down to the last dollar, I wasn't about to let this one slip through the cracks.

Inflation is a murderer and self defence starts in the kitchen. There was still plenty of tasty gravy in the pot, so with a bit of slicing and dicing, in went the steak, with a can of chopped tomatoes for good measure. Eat that inflation!

Shop ‘till you drop

It wasn't the only grocery-related event in recent times, even if it was the most memorable for me.

The Government announced on Wednesday that it is doing something about the supermarket duopoly, although I'm still not 100 per cent sure what that is.

Commerce Minister David Clark – looking suspiciously like the Four Square guy – says there will be a new Grocery Commissioner who will make sure everything is fair.

A draft supermarket code is also out for public consultation with one of its aims being to address the power imbalance between suppliers and the two main supermarket operators – Countdown and Foodstuffs.

Clark says this will be especially important for small artisans and start-ups. Goodness knows the little cheese makers need a boost after the trade deal that sprouted up in Brussels last Friday.

Unfeta'd access

The trade deal hammered out with the European Union, is of course the biggest food news of the month.

Meat and dairy exporters were probably never holding out for a great deal given the concerns of farmers over that side of the world, but other sectors, including some of the Bay's big exporters, have cause to celebrate.

Kiwifruit, wine, onions, apples, mānuka honey and manufactured goods, most seafood types and other horticulture products will have no tarrifs on them at all.

Spare a thought for feta makers, though. The Europeans play it hard when it comes to their cheeses.

Kiwis will no longer be able to use the name ‘feta' for their version of the briny white sheep cheese – that brand belongs exclusively to the Greek producers now.

Other cheese names are also likely to melt in the pizza oven of international trade relations. Havarti and Haloumi could be up for discussion and if you are thinking of setting up a Parmesan or Gruyere business, think again.

On the flip side, the mānuka brand has also been protected and recognised as unique New Zealand brand.

I guess there is always going to be a bit of give and take. A deal has been struck so it's time to line up in front of the camera, shake hands and say...'Cheese!'

daniel@thesun.co.nz