Better Understanding Dementia Ruth Thomas

You can see your parents struggling. Mum's repeatedly asking the same questions, Dad's getting frustrated and covering for Mum. You've suspected something is wrong for a while – Mum may have early dementia, but you don't know how to start that difficult conversation.

This is normal. Spouses desperately try and protect partners with dementia and take on a carer role – but without appropriate support, it can be overwhelming.

Given Kiwis' caring nature, it's not surprising that family or whanau provide one million hours of unpaid care every week.

Pride, being conscious of wedding vows, fear and denial can all contribute to putting up the barriers when it comes to acknowledging the toll dementia can exact on relationships. If support for those with dementia is not brought in early after diagnosis, then ultimately it can lead to premature admission to a residential aged care facility.

Although it's usually the parents' adult children who make the call to start the conversation about seeking and accepting support, it's often an impartial and experienced dementia specialist that helps make the breakthrough.

EnlivenPlus can support people to have these difficult conversations. There is no one approach. It's about reading the room, being gentle and on occasion, being more upfront. Done skillfully, this enables families to take the next step together. There may be a few tears as the ‘band aid' is removed, but the change for the better is dramatic.

If you're needing support with these conversations, feel free to give me a call. I can't say I've seen it all, but in my 30 years as a leader in the sector, I'll be able to help you navigate one of life's trickier moments. Phone 07 547 4349.