Rogers Rabbits with Brian Rogers

 Today a tribute: It was a year ago yesterday we lost a visionary – a man who launched his own newspaper so Tauranga people could see their own special stories in print, so we could read about and see each other. Brian Rogers died September 14, 2022. But his vision lives on in The Weekend Sun and SunLive.Today we remember the man, his incisiveness, his acerbic wit, his insights and that special ability to make us laugh at others and ourselves. We celebrate Brian with an oldie but a goodie – a Rogers’ Rabbits from the archives.

Originally printed in The Weekend Sun’s August 22, 2014 edition...
The wrecking ball of NZ politics continues to swing, with no real effect other than turning off
most Kiwis.
If ever there was a chance to convince more New Zealanders to take an interest in politics and bother to vote, it’s been completely demolished by the pointless bickering of recent weeks.
Any of the real issues facing NZ have been overshadowed by the Whale Oil/Hager escapades, which have only served to distract Kiwis from thinking and discussing matters of real importance.
There were some mildly amusing exchanges in the first day or so, and Crusher Collins remains impressively steadfast in the face of more battering. However the attention span of the average New Zealander didn’t go much beyond that. The bulk of the fuss seems to be over email exchanges the authors believed were private between themselves. I’m sure there’s a lot worse skulduggery and name-calling that goes on in plenty of organisations throughout the country; and certainly right across the spectrum of NZ politics.  
Over the saga
The saga has dominated the news for two weeks now, and I reckon most of us are over it. There’s hardly a shiver gone up the spine of the polls, and the most angsty are the left wing journalists including TV One’s Corin Dann, who every night tells us his version of “how bad” this is looking, as if it was some kind of fact.  It’s time for television reporters to clearly distinguish between factual reporting and their uninvited opinion-offering. I suggest writing a newspaper opinion column if you want to keep clarity between your own slanted viewpoint; and supposedly balanced journalism.
It’s time for voters to be allowed to focus on deciding who is going to provide for the country moving forward; in health, education, growing the economy, fixing Canterbury, helping hardworking families, tackling crime, looking after the environment, resurrecting the moa; or whatever else is really important.
Not ‘who said what to who’.
Googled distractions
An example of how little the average New Zealander cares about all this nonsense, is borne out in a recent Vice survey that found the most Googled subject in New Zealand was not anything to do with whale oil or politics or politicians – but Lorde.
That demonstrates how little impact any
of this political bickering rates in the minds of the country.  
And speaking of wrecking balls, another of the most-googled subjects is Miley Cyrus, famous for riding a wrecking ball and who topped the topics in Taranaki. And most disturbing; animal sex. Not sure if there’s any correlation there, but Miley has just announced a NZ tour so hopefully that might distract the folk of Taranaki from the animal fornication subject for a while.
The ‘Naki’ also delved deep into escorts, ‘The Lord of the Rings’ and Crowded House.
The survey by Vice magazine found the Bay of Plenty had a few bizarre internet-viewing fetishes, the most searched subjects included bomb, sex, weed and pork belly.
Clearly, we are having a blast here in the Bay; and as our own surveys have shown, still take a keen interest in the bedroom, kitchen, garden etc. Waikato was obsessed with pregnancy and fraud. Well that figures, when the city slogans include ‘Where it’s happening’ and ‘More than you expect’. Northland’s most searched topics: killing and lawyer. I guess one leads to the other. Good to see Northlanders are planning ahead.
Auckland apparently continues on its confused and wayward thinking, with most searched topics including meth, cheerleaders, morning after pill, contraception, gay, lesbian, escorts, ping pong, how to make bombs, Simply Red, stolen car, how to pick a lock, how to get a girlfriend.
A few other bizarre ones also set Auckland apart: dots, Fruju, bundt cake and muscle gain. All I can recommend is; once you cross the Bombays, lock your doors.
Escorts
Interesting Auckland and Taranaki both registered high on searches for escorts. We’re not sure what sort of escorts, exactly, but it’s reassuring to learn from Vice magazine that at least Canterbury folk qualified their search, with Ford Escort rating highly. Then they went all weird on us, chasing their cousins, condoms, fracking, moa, bong, drones, pansexual* and Russell Crowe.
Wellington offers hope to the nation with civilised search subjects: Mince pie, Shortland St, Kimbra, BYO, wine, cute animals and best coffee. Southland was happy among the sheep, Katy Perry and weight loss; while Otago yearned for dolphins, John Key, Rachel Hunter, roast chicken and rain. Thanks to Vice for confirming what we’ve often suspected.
*Yes, we had to look it up. According to Urban Dictionary: A person who is sexually interested in other people regardless of gender including males, females, transexuals, transvestites, hermaphrodites, intersexuals, androgenous people, and those with sex-chromosome anomaly.