Roger Rabbits with Jim Bunny

Its dollars to donuts, any ‘heart and soul’ pledges, or resolutions, we made for 2024 have already spontaneously combusted. We are pathetic, weak-willed animals.

The ‘New Year, New Me’ failure rate is about 80 per cent. Mainly because the goals we set are unattainable; too big, too quick. And by the middle of February we have reverted to the loveable larrikin behaviours of old.

Which is okay – because a lot of the things we resolve to do less of, like eating and drinking, are the very things we enjoy most. So it’s win-win. Do more of what works for you, as they say.

And more exercise. Yeah sure! Most new January gym memberships are quietly forgotten after a couple of explosive showers of alcohol-infused sweat. Or they’re never used in the first place.

For the first two weeks of ‘24 my weekly gym subscriptions, the thick end of $40, effectively became a donation to my gym. I pay but no show. It’s a big leap from the couch, cold beer and cricket to the elliptical cross-trainer at the gym.

So no resolutions this year. But we do have a bold wish list for 2024 – the wonderful, the weird, the whacky, the probably improbable and the likely unlikely.

But it’s okay to dream...

KINDNESS, UNDERSTANDING AND RESPECT: Less grouching, less self-entitlement, less aggression, less impatience, less nastiness. Mr Sunshine wants being nice to be the bottom line whenever and wherever in 2024 – on the roads, in the street, at school, at work. A smile, a hullo, a wave, a handshake. It just might come back at you when you least expect it.

COUNCIL OF ENLIGHTENMENT: We shouldn’t forget the painful past but we can wish for a positive, proactive, collaborative, all-action team of Tauranga City councillors who will progress this city – no in-fighting, bitching or silly personal agendas. We need brave, entrepreneurial people who will build on advances made, start new ones, and make it the city we all want to visit or live in.

HOPE: It takes something like being a first-time grandfather to really sharpen the focus. What sort of world are we bringing children into? What chances do they have? It’s a world of despots and warmongers asserting themselves, conflicts in Ukraine and Gaza and humanitarian disasters like Darfur. Can we order a rainbow and some goodwill for a wee Poppet when he/she arrives in ‘24 please?

ALL ABOARD IN ’24: The railway lines are already there, we just need KiwiRail to move over a bit so us ordinary folk can use them too. KiwiRail is in the business of logs and containers, not passengers. But the rest of the world moves people on rail tracks, so why can’t we? A station at the bottom of Devonport Rd and peak-hour passengers services to all points – Waihī, Katikati, Ōmokoroa, Te Puna, CBD, The Mount, Pāpāmoa and Te Puke. Might be enough to lever us out of our cars and unclutter the roads.

AN END TO THE KILLING: On average one Kiwi child dies every five weeks from child abuse. Every eighth homicide victim in New Zealand is a child and more than two-thirds of those victims are aged two or under. Who wasn’t touched by the death of Ruthless-Empire just shy of his second birthday? Can his legacy be that he is the last? No more, not ever.   

A PIER in ‘24: Can we have a pier for Pāpāmoa please. If New Brighton can have one, Pāpāmoa deserves one. Just to walk on, to feel a closer connection to the sea, to skate on, run on, do anything on, to fish from, to wander and reflect on. People love piers simply because they’re there and taking in a salt-laden sea breeze is therapeutic and feels good. In the wise words of the Commissioner…it’s not all about spreadsheets, it’s also about wellbeing.

A WISH FOR MORE JORDAN IKITULES: The South Auckland dad who gave up his job, dates with his partner and any sort of social life to be there for his severe non-verbal autistic five-year-old son Storm. And in doing so, he spent his 31st birthday at Chipmunks with more than 100 members of the Autism Spectrum Dads Support Group he set up, and their kids.

He explained: “It’s about learning Storm’s world as opposed to forcing him to understand our world”. The world needs more Jordans in 2024.