‘Straight in the sky rocket!’

Roger Rabbits
with Jim Bunny

I wouldn’t have lost sleep over it.

Not one nod.

And I wouldn’t have wrestled with my conscience, because I don’t have one.

I would have kept the money and started spending. As they say honesty pays – but it doesn’t pay enough to suit some people like me.

Anyhow, the story which has intrigued the nation recently, involves a stranger, an old man and a mystery envelope.

You will have heard the story. It’s bizarre, curious and comical.

The old man is working in his Auckland garden when a stranger walks up, identifies the old man by name, says: “This is for you” and hands him an envelope. “What’s this?” asks the old man.

The stranger replied: “I’m just delivering it” before turning and marching off.

It was $5000 – yes, 100 $50 notes.

And the old man still doesn’t know who or why?

Then the dilemma – what to do with it?

Well, he immediately took the wad to the cops.

His problem was now theirs.  

What would you do? 

“Whaaaaat?” yelped the first respondent to The Weekend Sun’s ‘What would YOU do?’ survey.

“Straight in the old sky rocket,” she said.

For sky rocket read ‘pocket’.

“Wouldn’t even have to think about it.”

She would spend $1000 on cocktails while she was deciding how to spend the rest.

 “Would I take it to the police?  F#*k no!” said a second respondent.

She reasoned the money was delivered to the intended recipient.

“It wasn’t lost, wasn’t picked up off the street.

"I just wish the right person had been me!”

What would bug her would be the ‘who’ and ‘why’ questions – who gave the money and why…

Back in the suburban Auckland garden, an old man’s been wracking his brain – he knows of no unsettled debts, or favours to be repaid.

And he went to the Police because he thought someone might be setting him up.

Drug money? 

“Exactly,” said another ‘What would YOU do?’ respondent.

“I’d be petrified that it’s drug money, that I would have some mobster kicking in my front door late one night to recover the debt.

"I don’t want to end up dead for just $5000.”

But why would a drug lord single out a 70-something-year-old man, give him $5000, then monster him for its return?

It doesn’t add up.

Let’s not overcomplicate it.

The money was a beautiful thing, a day-maker.

Dry your tears of joy and start spending.

“I’d say ‘thank you’ to the delivery man and rush out and buy myself a new spa pool,” says the Work Wife – but then she has a change of heart…      

“I’d call the cops because I’d worry I am being scammed or set up, maybe for Ashton Kutcher’s ‘Punk’d.’ 

That’s the famous American hidden camera, practical joke reality TV series, where Ashton Kutcher pulls pranks on celebs.

What would it matter if you got to keep the $5000?

There might be spiritual significance to all this – because finding or gifting money is often interpreted as a message from spirit guides, angels, departed loved ones telling you that you are valued and supported and on the right path, a positive affirmation from a higher realm.

‘Chicken’

Here’s a few other ‘What would YOU do?’ responses.

“I’m chicken.

"I’d be scared someone would knock on the door with questions for which I have no answers.”

“Is this dodgy? Is this a drug deal gone wrong?”

A 78-year-old man, a gardener, drug deals – that doesn’t compute.

It could simply have been a nice gesture to someone who has been nice.

You know how teams of neighbours turn up to dig a garden or paint a house for someone who is a nice person.

“I’d feel so weird I couldn’t live with it.

"Random acts of kindness are so lovely, but I would need to know there were no strings attached.

“If it was $50 I could understand, but who gives away $5000 for no reason?

"I’d put it in the bank until I had answers.”

Cash and tears 

It’s a bit of segue, but there’s the story of another find couple who found $150 in the aisle at the supermarket.

“We were always going to hand it in at the checkout. But we did think about it…”

A couple of days later they got a phone call to say the person who’d lost the money had been identified on CCTV.

She was a solo mum who left the supermarket in tears because she couldn’t buy groceries for her family.

She left the supermarket in tears again when the money was returned to her.

I might be shifting in my attitude.

Perhaps I too would keep the $5000 safe until I got some answers.

But then I might just cream off $1000 for a treat…

*So…‘What would YOU do….?’ Email:hunter@thesun.co.nz