Daniel Hutchinson From The Hutch

Apologies in advance for bringing Covid into the discussion once again but you literally can't do anything right now without the ‘C' word looming large.

Just ask moteliers and restauranteurs but whatever you do, don't mention the assistance package being offered to those who can show a 40 per cent decline in revenue.

If business was crap six weeks before the country went into red and now it's 30 per cent more crap, that's not enough to qualify. Some businesses are reporting their worst January ever this year – that's compared with last January – and still don't qualify.

People are confused about the various settings and what their obligations are, and I'd hazard a guess that those who want to do the right thing are simply making up their own version of that as they go along.

It was against this backdrop of protests, fear of the unknown and confused masses that we had to travel down to the deep south for a wedding.

This was an important occasion for the family – the groom lost his Mum a few years back so Mrs Hutch or ‘Aunty Trace' was going to be there no matter what to see her sister's son walk down the aisle.

The epic journey

Getting from regional North Island to Kaka Point in South Otago is a feat of Edmund Hillary proportions.

First, we drive up to Auckland to take advantage of the cheap airfares to the southern centres. Dunedin had a big motor racing event that weekend, so airfares were costing more than a trip to space with Richard Branson. That event was subsequently cancelled thanks to Covid.

But we had already booked the flights and planned to hitch a ride and do the 1000km round trip with other family heading down for the wedding.

The flight we were on was cancelled a few days before we were due to head down. The flight we were bumped to still wasn't full. Perhaps a sign of the times.

The usual hustle and bustle of airports at both ends was more of a busy murmur with no real queues and no waiting around for bags to pop out on the conveyor belt.

The non-stop motorway from Hamilton to Auckland is brilliant as is the network of new motorways in and around Christchurch – finally complete 11 years after the deadly earthquake.

What's the point?

Covid is a footnote to every public place – tracer apps, masks and vaccine passes. There was an awkward moment when the mobile scanner being used by the Jetstar staffer refuses to read my QR code. Eventually I'm just waved through anyway.

Everywhere else, it's just a cursory glance at the code and away you go which makes you wonder what the point of it all is?

The award for the most masked-up town goes to Ashburton. Just about everyone wears a mask everywhere in Ashburton, even in their cars. You can tell the tourists by their naked faces.

The anti-mandate protest movement hasn't made it to rural South Island, although there are a few pointed anti-anti-protest slogans on a few gates and fences.

Dunedin doesn't disappoint and what looks like about 50 hopeful protestors hold up their signs beside the main road outside the Cenotaph. Dignified passers-by roll their eyes while undignified types unfurl their middle fingers and offer alternative theories of their own.

Down through Milton and Balclutha we go until we reach Kaka Point near The Catlins. We are greeted with a broad smile by a naked-faced accommodation provider.

The staff at the wedding venue are all appropriately masked-up but apart from that, it's life as normal in this part of the world. Covid hasn't come to The Catlins.

Hands-on security

Heading back, it's more of the same although there can't have been enough protestors to cover the northbound lanes past Queen's Garden in Dunedin.

The lack of passengers at Christchurch airport has the unfortunate side-effect of making me look the most like a terrorist and I get beckoned aside by security. I raise my arms for the scanner as requested before the guard asks if they can pat me 'there and there”, pointing to a picture of a person.

Mrs Hutch's eyes are screaming at me – ‘Don't say anything funny' even though there is so much to say. In the end I just say: ‘Oh, ah, sure'. It was most likely a rhetorical question anyway. Frankly, if they think someone has a dangerous looking package, it's nice to know they are erring on the side of caution.

Stay safe.

Daniel@thesun.co.nz