Roger Rabbits with Jim Bunny

It started well enough. But soon turned to crap.

It was a note from Unesco advising of the upcoming International Day of Tolerance on November 16. Imagine, a Day of Tolerance – recalibrating global niceness and understanding, what a noble thing. Flag it.

“Tolerance”, explains Unesco, “is respect, acceptance and appreciation of the rich diversity of our world’s cultures, our forms of expression and ways of being human.” Humans behaving humanely to other humans – I like it, I might try it, and surprise a few people. Wonder if Putin, Trump, Netanyahu, Rocket Man, Hezbollah, Hamas and the like got the same email?

Anyhow, the Unesco note lands on what used to be my desk and is now a loveable clutter of coffee cups dusted with fungal spores, an E-grade hygiene certificate which means it’s unsafe to eat, work or be around my work station, a manual for Sad Old Man Syndrome, an equally sad mobile that never rings, and a copy of ‘New Zealand Pubs – 170 classic pubs to visit’. I’m up to number 37.

So progress on some levels.

Now the hurtful stuff.

“International Day for Tolerance – not something you could embrace,” said the cruel, cutting addendum to the Unesco advisory. “Not something you could observe.”

Ouch! Was that cheap shot meant for me. Surely not.

A shoo-in 

Hear ye! Let it be known I am a model of tolerance. I have even nominated myself for the Unesco-Madanjeet Singh prize for the promotion of tolerance and non-violence. I am a shoo-in. Not that I am motivated by money, but the US$100,000 prize, which marks the 125th anniversary of the birth of peacenik Mahatma Ghandi, is inspired by the ideal that “peace, if it is not to fail, must be founded on the intellectual and moral solidarity of mankind”. Admittedly, to date, I have been spectacularly unsuccessful with awards. I’ve  nominated myself several times for The Weekend Sun Employee of the Month trophy for my deeds, insights and wisdom. To date, not so much as an honourable mention. Lovely!

In my own pathetically small world, I demonstrate all the characteristics of tolerant behaviour – awareness, ethical reflection, respect and accept of the “other”, and self-control. “Be the change you want to see in the world,” as Ghandi said. And so I am that change. Or so I thought I was, but apparently not.

Work Wife snipe 

“Tolerance is something you aren’t well practised at,” she sniped. I feel like a gut-shot razorback. And here’s me thinking we had a wonderfully platonic, unique, symbiotic, workplace relationship. I thought workwives were trusting, and understanding, respectful and supportive. Well, wrong!

She’s now testing my tolerance. I thought they invented tolerance so people would be tolerant of people like me?

Tolerance enables us to confront the experiences of life without getting hijacked by emotions like hate and resistance. Rather than identifying certain feelings as “right” or “good”, and others as “wrong” and “bad”, we allow our feelings to be just information. And therefore tolerant.

If you have to think about that much about tolerance, then perhaps you can understand the lack of buy-in.

“What do you mean?” I fired back. “I am deeply hurt and offended.”

Then more incoming.

“Dear Work Husband – you are tolerant of people you don’t know, because you don’t have to deal with them. And you AREN’T tolerant of me. You are always winding me up, prodding to get a reaction.”

Let me count the ways! (sidehead)

But I am tolerant – let me count the ways.

I listen … until I don’t, or I glaze over. Whichever comes first.

I take on the opinions of others … as long as they are closely aligned to my own.

I respect, even love everyone … as long as they enjoy IPA, cricket and food with a 30,000 to 100,000 Scoville rating. And the Steamers, of course.

Now I am scratching through my clutter for a human resources number. I feel a personal grievance coming on. If Work Wife isn’t acting unfairly or unreasonably, then she’s being mean and unfair, and that’s not in the spirit of “respect, acceptance and appreciation” as outlined in the Unesco charter.

Should I ring one of those hot shot, “no-win, no-fee” lawyers? Perhaps not. He’d probably only tell me there’s defence in truth.

And perhaps no personal grievance complaint either – it could rebound, get messy and end in a very challenging, unhealthy, negative and intolerant work environment.

Disclaimer: To tell the truth my Work Wife and I have a totally harmonious workplace relationship … or as good as can be …